whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
