How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I had to cum in my sink.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
