yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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