he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
