We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm both gender and math confused
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
