I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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