Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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