U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
