after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
