let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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