No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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