Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
