Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
