Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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