i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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