Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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