I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
