I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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