my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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