Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
