I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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