there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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