Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
