Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
