She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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