i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
