Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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