Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
