Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
