i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
