my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
