THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
