Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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