yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
