Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
