Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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