If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
