You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
