Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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