be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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