also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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