Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
