Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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