In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
