Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
