it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
