I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
