He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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