Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
