You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
